this was the first choose-your-own-adventure story i ever made, and i made it exclusively for one (1) person, that person being my closest friend. the whole thing is littered with our mutual metabullshit (tm), and you will probably not have a wonderful time playing it unless you're Aleksa. but if you're Aleksa, you've played it already, and gone through every possible ending because you're a completionist, so you probably won't have a wonderful time playing it now, either.
nevertheless, here it is, mostly as a monument to the fact that i learned how to code CYOAs in one try. no practice no nothing. just jumped right into it. and i promise it lives up to its name.